Its Always The Laptop

Somewhere in earth important discussion is going on : 

Qsn 1 : What will you try to save first if your room is on fire ?
Ans : My Laptop !

Qsn 2: Do you take any electronic device to toilet ?
Ans : My Laptop !
  Qsn : Why?
  Ans : Dude! You don't understand ! She might knock me !  I would miss that. And sometimes some a**holes writes shi**y comments. I need to delete that instantly.

Qsn 3: What would you like to take with you when you are dead ?
Ans: Hey! Don't remind me about my death. It freaks me out. and how could you ask? Its my laptop i'm gonna take with me. Who knows what happens after death? I'm gonna take a laptop with wi-fi . I will let others know whats happening through my facebook status if possible and stop asking this dumb questions !

Update :

Somewhere in earth in some toilet something is happening :

image found in facebook page

How to Become Famous on Facebook

Here in this post i have explained a way that can make you famous on facebook easily. Just within a few minutes.

Here it goes :

Step 1 : Log in to your facebook account and Click on " Account " at the top right corner of  your home page.

Step 2 : Click " Account setting "

Step 3 : Click Change Name 

Step 4 : Type " Famous " and click "Change name "

Done!!! You  are Famous now (Theoretically)  ! You can also be popular by typing "Popular" instead of "Famous". 

I know if a facebook dislike button would exist then this article would probably get a lot of clicks on that . But it does not exist . So i think its better to click "like" button. At least you can show that your mouse or touchpad really works !

Everyone would be rich if ...

Almost everyone of us could be rich very easily and quickly if and only if  we would:

1. Get paid for facebooking !!!

2. Get paid for using toilet !!! 

3. Get Paid for sleeping !!!

4. Get paid for flirting !!!

5. Get paid for  every single shout of your boss !!!

this picture is collected from google image. Source unavailable

5 Things Nobody Steals

Wherever you go there are somethings which are always safe if they are already used and never going to be stolen (most probably)!

1. Undergarments

2. Stinky Socks

 

3. Toothbrush

4. Medical Report

5. Burden

Greatest Difference Between Hero and Superhero

The greatest difference between a hero and superhero is - a hero wears underwear under his pant but superhero wears underwear over his pant !!! Lets read the discussion below between Johnny Bravo and Superman.

OMG! Ant Killed Elephant !

Today Ant killed Elephant ! Its really an strange news. But how is it possible ? Do you know that? If you don't then let me explain. Actually name of the Elephant was 'Ant' and name of the ant was ' Elephant' !!!

We are really sorry for MR. Elephant !

Ways to Waste Time

Sometimes when i waste time by doing something bullshit or nonsense i think that people should learn from me how to waste time. Because i am really good at wasting time. But when share that with my friends they also claim themselves best in wasting time! So i think lot of people like to waste time.

 I am sharing some good ways to waste time. I hope they will be helpful for those who like to waste time or want to.

• Attend Boring Classes - I really hate this. For me its a waste of time. Specially if the teacher is boring and forgot to communicate with students.  I can remember the dialogue of John Nash (Russel Crowe) from the movie " A Beautiful Mind " , " Classes will dull your mind, destroy your potential for authentic creativity".
• Wait for a Miracle - Sleep at home and think that a miracle will happen, God will help. Its a complete waste of time. A human being himself / herself is a miracle if he/she works hard.
• Believe or Wait for One Love - One or None ! Trying to convince someone for a long time ??? But no progress? Probably he/she does not deserve you or vice versa. But its your time. Waste it!!!
• Scratch with Hand - When you are scratching any part of your body with hand then you are unable to do other things. So you are wasting time. Try to scratch with your leg to save time. !!!
• Ask for Sympathy - If you are asking for sympathy to people you are wasting time. Actually now a days that's hardly available. Earn it !
• Teach Your Pet : Try to teach Physics to your pet.
• Blog - Write a blog post like this one.

Do you know better ways?