Funny Marriage Quotes

 

1. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.  - David Bissonette
2. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.  - Sacha guitry
3. A man interested an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘you can have mine.’   - Anonymous
4. A Good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.  -Rodney Dangerfield
5. By all means marry. if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.  -Socrates
6. ‘some people ask the secret of our long marriage. we take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’  - Anonymous
7. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. – Sigmund Freud
8. ‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.’  -Sam Kinison
9. Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
•   whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
• whenever you’re right, shut up.     -Patrick Murra
10. First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’  Second Guy : ‘you’re lucky,mine’s still alive.’ – Anonymous
11. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. then we met.  -Henny Youngman
12. You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.  -Anonymous
13. The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…   -Nash

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My Family interesting quotes

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Quotes with describing family

1. My 'uncle' (he's not really, just kind of like one) always told my 'cousins' (and eventually me) "Want in one hand, sh*t in the other, see which one fills up the fastest.
2. My dad always says "I work with them" to me when things like savages or aliens appear on a tv show, just as a joke I guess. It's more a family joke.
3. MY mom use to tell my dad "Always treat me like a Thoroughbred and I'll never become an old nag"
4. "Always do your third best. Your best will never be reached in this life and second best will take too damn long!"