Funny Marriage Quotes

 

1. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.  - David Bissonette
2. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.  - Sacha guitry
3. A man interested an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘you can have mine.’   - Anonymous
4. A Good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.  -Rodney Dangerfield
5. By all means marry. if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.  -Socrates
6. ‘some people ask the secret of our long marriage. we take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’  - Anonymous
7. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. – Sigmund Freud
8. ‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.’  -Sam Kinison
9. Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
•   whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
• whenever you’re right, shut up.     -Patrick Murra
10. First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’  Second Guy : ‘you’re lucky,mine’s still alive.’ – Anonymous
11. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. then we met.  -Henny Youngman
12. You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.  -Anonymous
13. The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…   -Nash

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Funny quotes of corporate world

1) Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. 


2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby. 


3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month. 


4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby. 


5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available. 


6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; They'll produce a child with zero resources. 


7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months. 


8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby. 


And lastly... 


9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. 

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